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University of Life Since '75

Now a tall, large framed, pale blue eyed man with long blonde hair and a full, darker, reddish beard.  His hair somewhat darker these days from the natural oils since he stopped shampooing some years ago.

He was told that the womb he’d inhabited had previously held a child killed by their own mother pre-birth due to it being conceived in the rape of a 16 year old. He started life in a London, England, upper middle class family. The only child of a decade long marriage of expatriates of mostly northern European descent. His short, busty, quietly, passive-aggressively hateful, artist, community college, media studies teacher mother gave him a well equipped room in her house and put food on the table. She was a disturbed, man-hater and he was pleased their relationship was minimal. She forever hated her father for abandoning his first family with her included and deeply resented her mother for shipping her off to live with family on another continent. Steve was thankfully raised without a dominant male figure in the household. His very reserved, university architecture professor father, gone by the time he was six, was rumored to have cheated on his mother even with her sister then moved on to start a new family whom he later also abandoned. Obviously Steve was overjoyed at this break from Societal BDSM dominance and socialization from another of Society’s disturbed, Attacked individuals. This let unrestrained self-empowerment foster and self-control build.

Thankfully he escaped the standard initiations into religion.

Being an only child he kept hisselves company and entertained hisselves often with the help of Society’s multimedia religion.  Gaining distantia (distance) from an early age.

The island Britain for all his childhood years was in the midst of a civil war with its closest neighbor which it considered its territory. The threat of terrorist bombing by the IRA was very real. There were both fire and bomb alarms at school. One night he heard a bomb explode some distance away carried by the night air to his neighborhood.

At Elementary school age he was notably underworked.  A die-hard idealist he tried activism against his own educational imprisonment by igniting the paper in the school toilets aged eight.  Enjoying the countryside was helped by his time with the Woodcraft Folk who are like hippie Boy Scouts. He’d a friend at whose home he watched NC-17 rated, like Bruce Lee kung fu (Jeet Kune Do), movies as a preteen. One afternoon he was stalked on his way home by a pædophile. Soon there was a knock on the door. He went to answer it with a babysitter looking over his shoulder and the stalker quickly backed away mutely.

At Junior / High School age his asthma (also known as smother love), the birth of the Digital Age and an inherent dislike of the idiocy and aggressively competitive nature of most sports kept him inside playing with his computer, electronics kit, chemistry set, reading or likewise educational, intelligent activity.  Using cannabis and alcohol irregularly since age 10 to aid survival of megopolic life.  Addiction was avoided though coca sampled at age 13.  He had some megopolic rage as a teen and did a tiny bit of shoplifting and vandalism but nothing major and was never overly hassled by the cops.  A focus was on taking porn mags back in the days before the web when porn was difficult to acquire as a teen child.  He never bullied and managed to stand up more and more to the few bullies that came his way.  Carrying a pocket knife helped (as defense sprays aren’t sold in the UK).  Getting away from home he twice started a relationship with a GF.  Dressing in baggy, casual clothing with Nike Air exceedingly comfy sneakers.  For a soundtrack he listened a heap to illegally broadcast, pirate radio playing the new dance music of acid house, drum'n'bass, jungle, techno, trance and ambient.  Predominantly designed for the recently discovered X (MDMA) drug.  He was also a Bob Marley (Ext) fan.  He learned extra-curricular classical and modern drumming.  As city kids do he learnt to swear in many different languages from his ethnically diverse classmates.  He'd made no false promises to his friends at High School and left them as abruptly as he'd met them.  They'd enjoyed sharing good times and protecting each other for a while.

He stayed in education after it stopped being compulsory. As was common he went to a new school, and his socializing exploded.  He stopped martial arts just short of black belt (another megopolic survival technique) and for the next four years got his exercise in danceathon nightclubs.  His school arranged for him to spend an exciting week as a film industry gopher.  Self-medication reached a new level when strong psychedelics were started at age 17.  Psychonautic adventures abounded.  All of a sudden beautiful life truths were apparent showing an awesome possible future awareness, far more than had been available from cannabis use.  He started reading esoteric literature at this time.  Shaven headed, reading Hippie classics the Yi Jing (I Ching)(Ext), Leary (Ext), Wilson (Ext), Castaneda (Ext), Kesey (Ext), Wolfe's account of the Merry Pranksters (Ext), Persig (Ext) and McKenna (Ext) also drew his attention away from classic academia and his A-grades deteriorated.

One summer in the '90s with his cannabis trafficking uncle (he had another that owned a group of companies) he went to a private country party where the organizers who handed out tasty P. semilanceata magic mushrooms and had the largest home speakers he's even seen had sold one of their manufactured tie-dyed t-shirts to Owsley the infamous LSD manufacturer.  The live music was great.  Hell's Angel's turned up at dawn.

At Junior year age he was hit by an Attack (of evil) that was almost unfathomably large, almost led to tragedy and which got him expelled from school and very nearly incarcerated for a long time.  The party attitude and youthful foolishness precipitated a momentary weakening of his guard.  He then went from a place where he said "Hey" to everyone to a place where he said "Hey" to almost no one.  He passed his exams and got into university.

At 18 he took a gap year.  He studied some, worked long hours as a data-inputer and tele-researcher then traveled to Asia.  Trekking the Himalayas, white water rafting and chilluming charas cannabis in Nepal.  Next he found an undeveloped tropical island in Thailand.  Without much electricity or tarmac, having made friends and with cheap 100g sticks of Thai weed and a hammock he relaxed there for a quarter year.  It was in the tropical Krungthep (Bangkok), in the world's only multi-storey red light zone where he popped his cherry to a very pretty and seductive, teen prostitute a few years underage.  Trying as he writes this to lead by the example that pride in your history is very important.  You've never done anything wrong, not wrong for you, you never could.  So you've never done anything to be ashamed of, you never could.  Your life, your choices, your path followed despite all Attack energies hitting you along the way.

He had such little financial support that on his first day at college he had to go Dutch with a fellow student on a candy bar.  He read Physics at university or rather he continued to deal mainly cannabis to friends and started having sex daily, nightly and ever so rightly with a Norwegian country Chick whom he was in love with.  Visiting her hometown he tried strong moonshine at the end of a Norsk fjord, popular due to strict licensing laws.  Their background music was heavily roots reggae and dub music mainly out of Jamaica.  One drunken night he and his buddies got banned from a bar on campus after many glasses were smashed and he surreally accused a waitress of stealing the cannabis he had concealed in his mouth.  He realized he'd dropped out of university ages ago and so after a tiring four days cleaning a factory he continued his office work.  His highlights included dancing on X with a professional dancer at an all night rave of 25,000 people at an air field.  Another, chatting up and dancing by a famous pop singer in a megopolitan bar.  Standard for megopolic life he'd passed by a dozen celebrities around town.

Returning to university the following year and changing course to add Computing, his main love since he was pre-teen re-awakened his studious side.  It had been four years since he'd been flowing with school and the ease with which he took to his new classes threw him.  Like Gates before him he again dropped out, to start his computing business which to this day supports his life.

Socially he reached out and received an email reply from Terrence McKenna telling him to be there at the eschaton or be square, which he won't hold him to.  Nightclubbing he enjoyed once trying a 2CB pill.

Easily he got hisselves into a long distance intimate relationship with an American Chick.  Blindly one that could never prosper.  Needily it lasted years.

At 22 he felt trapped and over-stressed and went to the medical profession for solace.  His honesty about his mental state was used against him.  They labelled him of the underclass of the mentally ill, for life, and imprisoned him for ⅓ year.  He was eventually released and later that year he started individual and group psychotherapy whilst living in a therapeutic community house.  Therapy was a powerful, lengthy experience enjoyed over the next five years.  It was during this period that he managed to distance himself further from Society.

Sensibly leaving friends and turning to his inner callings.  He left his peer group of bankers, architects, computer geeks, advertising execs and the like.  People whom he saw steal from charity, take drugs and who were mindless automatons.  Vane, inane materialists whose sole purpose was earning money and being a non-unique cog in The Machine.  People who want to be only a copy of their parents not new and improved versions.  Watching TV, drinking in bars, doing lines and looking cool.  Sheltering, not parenting, their Societally raised kids, then repeating.  Nothing new, nothing explored, nothing challenged, nothing creative.  People who only say what is normally said and do what is normally done.  People who don't think for themselves.  People who don't know themselves and their potential.  People who don't know life and it's potential.  It really was never for him.

He became the amateur photographer, the music producer, the video editor, the home DJ, the digital still artist, the media studies film buff and scriptwriter, the Daoist Yi Jing student, the T'ai Chi Chuan and fleeting Aikido student, the chef and the fashion designer of his own clothing.  He spent a few days & nights at a Tibetan Buddhist monastery.  During this period he voluntarily took psychiatric medications and put on a lot of weight, enough to forever bear the scars.  Note-worthy also are the few scars from self-inflicted cigarette burns and the couple of tattoos acquired during this time.  This was whilst the drinking came heavy enough to down a bottle of vodka in a night if need be, plus the meds including valium sedatives.  One day he was in pain, it got worse, he caught an ambulance to a hospital, then oddly waited for hours in a waiting room, the mother to his right concerned about his squirming in pain spoke to staff, he was given a morphine suppository and was wheeled into surgery.  It turned out he got to keep all his major organs intact.  Lying in a public hospital dormitory bed hooked up to a drip, opium nightmares about evil residing within his bedside cupboard passed the time until incontinence came with the stopping of the morphine injections.  A couple of scars remain, maybe a debt owed.  The drinking subsided to a more sustainable level and life continued.

It was at 27 that he through need picked himself up, quit the meds, smoking & drinking, walked off the collected fat and got fit again.  He jogged and mainly he ran until he withdrew to his home gym and cycled.  His bizzy was really flowing during this period.  Developing AI systems helped him shape a scientific view of mind, personality and interaction with reality.  He developed novel computing technologies; more advanced than anything Earthlings had at their disposal.  Including a taxi hailing app years before Uber.  Daily meditation was deep and fulfilling.  He'd progressed beyond consulting the energetic oracle of the Yi Jing to dealing with a new sense of rawer energy vibe itself.  Never had he felt so alive and it took him over a decade to return to this level of positivity and simple enjoyment of life.  Enlightenment-wise, energy was blissfully retreating inward, showing no clues to the change that lay ahead.

After being turned down asking a stranger out for a drink he was assaulted on a deserted day lit street by a couple of sports hooligans, fracturing his right clavicle (collar bone).  The doctor misdiagnosed this as a non-issue and it was only years later that he became aware of how much damage he'd suffered.  This was at the start of his Dark Days, a period of energetic settlement and deep regression which lasted the majority of a decade.  He was effectively without a decent, stable home for this long period to come.

At age 31 he pushed to leave London.  Choosing the European countryside he ended up in distant mountains.  Rediscovering nature in temperate paradise he enjoyed every barely affordable day.  Without the protection of his modern build, double glazed, concrete apartment with his self-papered & painted walls, Society ingressed.  His first imprisonment by cops occurred when he went to Hicksville law enforcement to report a theft by a local.

A half million dollar inheritance from his doctorate godfather, part of the IBM barcode inventing team, helped finance his move to America.  Off he went playing with external (inheritance) group without thinking, realizing, that that's not what he did anymore.  He paid an exorbitant price for this Attack and largely blames it, and the massive change in his financial resources, for ruining his comfy, healthy, on-track life.  He enjoyed this upside of this brief period with extremely fun trips in chartered helicopters and boats, 5-star hotels, first class air travel and a million dollar spacious, virginal penthouse overlooking the Statue of Liberty, which was possibly the second best apartment in the world.  The best apartment being in the Ritz Carlton residences next door with a higher and less obstructed view.  Being hit twice by First World governments again incarcerating him without due cause severely shook the Society man.  Again ingresses from an unwelcome yet too present society.  He wound up holed up in an Attacked, Dutch country house.  In half a year five teeth broke!  Having grown a set of teeth twice already he’s confident he can do it again eventually.  This was the first of his sporadic, ultra Attacked, bedridden, drugged, Tourette episodes lasting for months or years at a time.  Living in a controlled environment as large as reality let it be at the time.  Always working and playing at a computer nonetheless.  Aiming to upgrade his home environment to a more conducive one and to feel positioned to restart exercise ASAP.

A complex batch of insanely large Attacks culminated with him suffering abuse at the hands of the Brits who imprisoned him for 3/4 year for being separate.  Defending his rights they were too backward to believe existed.  Unimpressed by their Prove Your Goodness game he'd gone into hiding.  Attack wouldn't let him stay hidden.  One night, a month in, with surprising difficulty a heavily armed team of anti-terrorism cops invaded through the door of his apartment.  His convictions were for civil disobedience; not cooperating with police by bearing witness against hisselves and subsequently skipping bail.  They deserved it.  They bullied him and he wasn't gonna play their sucker.  Viciously they even framed him for the worst two of the 13 charges!  In prison the Brits passively tortured him for months refusing to provide pain medication (or crutches) for crippling, sciatic pain.  They attempted to use him as prisoner slave labor until his mental health label got him transferred to a secure hospital instead.  Oddly his transport van passed the First Lady's motorcade en route.  He was a far cry from looking down upon the United Nations delegates protected by their block worth of Secret Service agents from his elite NYC penthouse.  His story at his beckoning was published and made it onto (Ext), reached the eyes of the Electronic Frontier Foundation (Ext) and one of the few thousand interested voices on Reddit (Ext) compared him to a legendary human rights activist; his 15 minutes happily used up yet not that big a bite at the hand that helped raise him.  He contends nothing can make one feel (comparatively) freer than a past imprisonment and thankful only to life itself he feels blessedly liberated by these experiences.

He chooses to live a life constantly pushing the edges of Society, in constant Termination Shock, like the Voyager spacecraft pair experienced as they left our solar system.

He's seen his own ruthlessness.  In his thirties he started experiencing 'symptoms' (of dis-ease) known to Society by the label Tourette Syndrome (Ext).  This overwhelming energetic attack reaches back to very base perceptions of reality.  One's world itself shakes.  Energy uses him to speak.  It's the classwork of Clairvoyancy 101.  It's said that almost no-one gains Tourette late in life, so albeit feeling the outsider he feels everyone who suffers from this experience must be very special people.  Special to be that much in tune with the energetic waves of Attack in their environment.  Again he's drawn to empathize with a Societal sub-group, with others.  He feels blessed by Tourette, escapable in the right environment.  Preaching tranquil awareness his own now seeing the Pits of Zell of Society.  Sometimes the bliss of enlightenment includes the experience of the nightmare one's surrounded by.  A care-full balance of pace along the path must be focused upon.  Move too quickly, for example by too long immersion with psychedelic chemicals and the negativities appear uncopable.  Move too slowly, rarely appearing tempting on such a bright path, and the inanity, mundanity, shadowy aspects of Society appear to engulf one whole then start to chew…

At age 39 he'd traveled more.  More limits pushed, To Do checkboxes checked.  How was his inward energetic quest progressing?  Physically he'd spent by now considerably more time in foreign countries including 1st and 2nd World, America and around Europa and 3rd World Asia; Hippie-Trail Nepal.  He'd amassed over a decade of celibacy.  He'd again regained fitness and started building muscle mass.  He'd quit the six year opiate painkiller addiction and the latest three year cannabis habit.  He really started living on Gaia not just within Society.  He drew his view of wild rabbits, watched a wild deer pack running free, listened to wild pheasants, waded along a tropical beach barefoot in the rain, drunk from streams to survive.  These allegedly easy things that cost so little and achieve so much.  However business was slow to rise, yet never needing to rush believed he could wait.

For income he has like both his grandfathers and two of his blood uncles owned and run his own business, in computing, since college.  He's a reluctant businessman, an enthusiastic computing systems developer, a programer and he does some ecommerce.

During his 41st trip around the sun he focused on this spiritual guide book and website.  Bringing his wisdom to intelligent people seemed like a responsible and fun enterprise.  Changing the world one mind at a time.  With the enduring principle about figuratively teaching fishing, to those who can themselves teach others, he may one day feel that he's achieved good within Society in a way quintessentially unavailable via his digital biz.